


Disband

by imokipromise



Category: (여자)아이들 | (G)I-DLE
Genre: Angst, F/F, Hinted MiMin, Sad, im sorry, its a bit gay but not very, love between members is the best love, not yet at least, some yuyeon, sooshu is canon, very sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-06
Updated: 2020-12-06
Packaged: 2021-03-10 06:14:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,397
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27919561
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imokipromise/pseuds/imokipromise
Summary: Everything was just like normal. The girls were signing a paper for the third time. Soyeon wrote their new song, and they were preparing for their comeback.Or,they weren’t.
Relationships: Jeon Soyeon/Song Yuqi, Seo Soojin/Yeh Shuhua
Comments: 2
Kudos: 50





	Disband

January, 2030.

It was quiet in the members’ dorm. Not playfully loud as usual. The reason, you may wonder. Well, it wasn’t because they were out promoting, neither were they practicing. They were all gathered up in one of the apartments, the one with dogs running around at every hour of the day. 

At the two couches, sat Miyeon, Minnie, Soojin, Soyeon, Yuqi and Shuhua. The members of the famous group (G)I-die. In front of them, at the coffee table, laid a paper. It wasn’t a usual paper, one that easily could be ripped apart and put in the trash. No, this one was important. This little piece of pressed tree was the future of (G)I-dle. It would determine if those six girls listed above still would be the members of the famous group. And judging from most member’s sad faces, it didn’t look bright for that piece of paper.

But, it still had a tad bit of hope to get inc splashed on itself. That was, because the leader of the group, Jeon Soyeon, still held the hope in her mind.

“Who is signing first?” she asked, already reaching for the pen on the other side of the table.

Why she had hope, the members would never wrap their heads around. Yes, the group was still doing great in the public eye. Their albums sold better than ever before, and their concerts were always outsold. Not to talk about all the other opportunities they all got offered, such as dramas, variety shows, advertisements and so much more. And their agency still wanted to keep them around, if they could.

The problem was the members themselves. They weren’t tired of their fans or all their shows, actually the opposite. But they all knew everything has a beginning, just as it has an ending. And after twelve years as a group, they had come to theirs. To say it was bittersweet, that was an understatement. If they could, they’d all like to continue the rest of their lives, but that wasn’t how the world of idols worked.

Miyeon was turning thirty-three, for god’s sake. She couldn’t keep on jumping around a stage every few months. No, Miyeon wanted a family. To settle down. She couldn’t do that as long as she spent her days practicing choreography and vocals.  
And Minnie’s solo career was kicking off outside of Korea. From all the offered duets she’d gotten, she sure could start a stable career at the exact minute.  
Soojin love the fans, she loved singing. Dancing was her passion. But over the time, she’d grown used to the routine, and Soojin wasn’t one for routines. She wanted a change, maybe to open that little restaurant she and Shuhua had been talking about for years. They could start their business, and their future together.  
As for Yuqi, her schedule had been busy since her first year as an idol. She’d always gotten the spotlight, and honestly, she needed some time to rest. She needed to find her way back to the girl she was before, because between every show and concert, she’s lost herself. She never got the chance to grow up, but she needed it.

That left Soyeon. The one who made the group happen in the beginning. The one who pushed them all to their debut, and then further into the celebrity world. The one who worked on all their albums, all their choreographies and all their concepts. Soyeon... the one who wasn’t ready for it all to end yet.

In the end, the poor paper was left untouched.

________

March 12th, 2030.

“After twelve years on the stage, (G)I-dle, a group made of six girls, has decided to disband. I’m sitting here with the members themselves.” the interviewer turned from the multiple cameras to the members, who all sat upright in their chairs. “Tell me, how are you feeling?”

They were in a line, Yuqi next to the interviewer and Soyeon next to her. By the leaders side were the two oldest, and then the publicly known couple at the end.

In front of them were cameras constantly clicking and reporters screaming out questions. Soyeon’s legs were shaking in her seat, as well as Soojin’s who still hadn’t gotten used to all the attention. The members thought 2021 would be the year her fear would disappear, the year the couple of ‘SooShu’ finally was revealed. The group got attention from the entire country as ‘the first publicly known lesbian couple-gross!’. It was a dark time, but they made it through it. And now, they were one of the most famous couples of Korea. Their fame even spread to Taiwan, China, Japan, even to countries outside of Asia.

As the public now had grown to love, Shuhua made a move, that never was intended to be fan service. She grabbed Soojin’s hand, and squeezed it hardly, to make the girl ease down. Like always, it worked, and now Soyeon was the only one with shaking legs.

Yuqi brought the microphone up to her face, and was just about to open her mouth, when Soyeon brought up her own, and gestured for Yuqi to lower hers. Soyeon took a deep breath, and pushed the words out of her.

_______

January, 2030.

Last week, that was when the paper was ripped, like any other paper. That’s when the remaining bits of Soyeon’s hope and will left her body. They were scattered, thrown into the trashcan together with the paper.

With the knowledge her last comeback with her girls was right now, Soyeon moved and talked out of her mind. If Yuqi were to ask Soyeon after their interviews why she answered the questions like she did, which Yuqi always did, Soyeon would just answer saying she didn’t remember.

On the stage of that day’s show, every move was engraved into Soyeon’s mind. Like usual. She moved around the stage, mesmerised the public as she did so. The lines came natural to her, like they had since her debut. But she didn’t enjoy it like she usually did. She didn’t want to think about it as their last comeback, therefore she wasn’t thinking at all.

Backstage, the members hugged and cried. Soyeon joined every hug, but didn’t let a single tear spill. It was only happy tears, of course. Her members were simply happy because the show went well, and they were excited for the next one. And the one after that, and those after that one. There was no reason to cry, really. They were just happy. Everything was perfectly fine, just like it always was and always would be.

Soyeon went straight to her studio once the last show was over, she had to start working on their next comeback. Why she was in such a hurry, she didn’t know. But she had to work fast, so she did. She stayed in her studio for an entire week, only eating when the members brought food to her. They hadn’t dared to ask what she was working on. The thing with Soyeon was, when she was working, she was some place else. Talking to her, was like trying to communicate with a brick wall. That’s why the members went in, left some food, told her to her some rest, and went out.

Until two weeks later, when Soyeon left her studio with her laptop in her hands. The members were probably somewhere around the building, she just had to find them. Maybe they were in one of the practice rooms? The one on the eight floor with couches for when they spent the night there, and with a table where they could eat their meals. But they weren’t there. They weren’t in the other one on the same floor either, and in the room on the sixth floor was another group of girls. 

Instead, Soyeon figured they were at the dorms. They’d probably practiced all day and needed some rest. Maybe Soojin had cooked them all a meal they were enjoying together at the puppy-dorm. Maybe her own dorm mates were busy arguing or enjoying a drama together. Yeah, that was probably it.

The leader took her jacket and rushed over the dark street with the computer in her hands. Water splashed around her as she ran under the streetlights. Her feet moved quickly and steadily. She was more than excited to show the new song, but a little worried too of course. She’d been working so hard. She could just hope the members loved it.

There were boxes in the corridor leading to her dorm. Weird, she thought. Had Shuhua started ordering too much stuff again? But why would she leave them at their floor, and not her own?  
She unlocked the door, and found even more boxes placed around the apartment. Some of them had ‘Yuqi’ written on them, and some of them ‘Minnie’. Then there were the empty ones with the name ‘Soyeon’. Who had written her name on Shuhua’s orders? And Why?

“You’re home.” Minnie commented from the kitchen counter. 

She had a half eaten cracker in her hand, and a cloth on the other one. She was dressed in a jacked over her hoodie, and a hat on her head. By her side was a stuffed handbag, where was she going?

“We’re leaving in twenty.” she said casually. “The van is bit enough to fit your stuff too, if you hurry.”

Soyeon didn’t know what to say, even less did she know what was going on. What stuff was Minnie talking about? Where were the van taking them?  
Instead of confusing herself with all the questions, Soyeon decided to walk up to the counter and place her computer in front of Minnie. Without saying anything, the Thai studied the screen. She was familiar with the program, so it didn’t take a lot for her to figure out that she was looking at a track.

“I wrote us a new song.” Soyeon said, and fiddled with her fingers.

“A new song?” Minnie asked.

“I’m not sure of the title yet but I decided we should try a new concept, our fans deserve that, and it’s always nice with a change too, so yeah, here it is. Um, the melody is quite sharp and all so I figured maybe you-“

“Soyeon.” Minnie said and placed her hands on Soyeon’s shoulders. “Soyeon, breathe.”

First now did Soyeon realise how her chest raised and sank rapidly, only allowing her to take in a small amount of air. Her face had grown red from the lack of oxygen, and her body was shaking.  
Once Minnie was sure Soyeon’s breathing was even, she wrapped the smaller in her arms. Any other day, Soyeon would push her away, but she didn’t today. The leader didn’t know why, but she accepted Minnie’s comforting embrace. The Thai could even swear she heard sniffing from behind her back.

“Let’s spend the evening together, okay? I’ll call of the van and order a new one for tomorrow.” Minnie comforted.

Soyeon still didn’t know what a van had with anything to do, but still, she nodded as her tears met the older’s jacket.

Minnie did as she said she would. She called of the van, making the drivers more than angry. Then, she called Miyeon, and just like that the girls were coming over.

After the two calls, Yuqi walked out of her room with two books in her hands. She looked between Minnie, who had an arm around Soyeon, and Soyeon, who tried her best not to spill more tears. Why was she spilling tears anyways?  
Yuqi put the books down on the top of a box, and walked towards her roommates. She too wrapped her arms around the smaller girl, still surprised to what this scene was about. 

“She wrote us a new song.” Minnie said.

It hit Yuqi. Of course she had. It worried her that she wasn’t even surprised. She’d expected someone to react this way, she’d expected Soyeon to react this way.  
With a nod, Yuqi squeezed Soyeon even tighter. 

The other girls entered after a minute, and they all joined the hug. There they stood, five former groups members, and one who so deeply had convinced herself that there were no ‘former members’ at all.

“Do you want to listen to our song?” the high voice said after some time, and the girls nodded with each other.

They sat down on the couch. All were squeezed between each other, and some even had to stay on the floor. But Soyeon pressed play, and everything but the beat disappeared.  
It was one of those songs their fans would think Minnie wrote. The only clue it wasn’t, was that there was no piano involved. Otherwise, it had the blue tone their ‘emo’ member always showed through her songs. The one that demanded deep, soulful vocals.  
And once it ended abruptly, the girls looked worriedly around at each other. It wasn’t the music or melody that was the problem. No, the song was great. Amazing, even. What scared them, was the lyrics.

“It’s not finished yet, but...” Soyeon said as she waited for their reaction.

“It’s...” Minnie started.

“It’s incredible, Soyeonnie.” Yuqi said, and once again wrapped her arms around the girl who’d grown even smaller. “It’s so good.”

Yuqi whispered into her neck while holding her close, the other girls tried to find something to say. Anything.

“You outdo yourself every time.” Soojin said, and Shuhua agreed with a nod.

“I’m... speechless.” Miyeon said, speaking for everyone in the room.

Once again, without knowing why, Soyeon let out more tears. She pressed herself against Yuqi, her Yuqi. Behind her she felt Miyeon’s arms embrace her, while Minnie’s hand petted her hair.  
They stayed like that for hours, until Soyeon had no tears left. Then, they munched on pizzas of all sorts that Soojin had ordered, and snacked on some leftover cakes from Shuhua’s last baking live.

Talking about old memories was always nice, Soyeon just couldn’t understand why they decided to bring it up now? What was so special about this night? And what made them baby her that much?  
Still, she joined the talks and accepted every hug like she needed it. 

The next morning, they woke up huddled together in Soyeon’s bed, which was the biggest one in the dorm. And the only one where the bedding still was on it. Maybe Minnie and Yuqi had decided to clean the entire apartment, and their sheets were just a part of it?

Speaking of the two, where were they? Soojin, Shuhua and Miyeon were right beside he. So, where were the other two?  
Soyeon carefully got up, and immediately heard voices from outside her room.

“What do we do with her? Do you remember how she completely shut down that night?” Yuqi said, but Soyeon had a hard time figuring out who they were talking about.

“Yuqi, she’s been shut down since that night.” Minnie said, which caused Yuqi to sigh loudly. “We can only tell her again, and hope for the best.”

“Minnie...” the thirty-year-old whined.

Soyeon walked into Yuqi wrapped in Minnie’s arms, just like she had been yesterday. Minnie brushed her hands up and down Yuqi’s back, while the younger muffled into her neck.

Without a single line, Soyeon hugged them from the side, like Yuqi had done yesterday. Maybe it was the fake youngest who was facing hardships right now, and needed some support? In that case, Soyeon would be sure to give it to her Yuqi.

The morning passed, with more talks, until Soojin decided to help Soyeon with her packing. That was after she’d tried to force both Miyeon and Shuhua to finish packing theirs for an hour.  
Why they were packing, Soyeon wasn’t sure. Maybe they were moving dorms? Maybe they’d all be in the same one again after so many years? Soyeon couldn’t wait to spend her days with all her members, watch dramas together and eat dinner as a big family.

Her and Soojin filled three boxes with her stuff, and another two with her clothes, until they placed them in the hallway and waited for the men from the van.  
She made sure to bring her laptop with her, because Soojin said she’d have to leave that at the company too. 

Yuqi, Minnie and Soyeon who all had a studio at the company, made their way there with another couple of boxes. It didn’t take too long to pack, because most of it was the company’s equipment anyways. Maybe they were moving studios, Soyeon didn’t know. But she held herself from asking. Even when the security asked for their keys, Soyeon followed Minnie and Yuqi’s example and gave them over with a smile. She made sure to take of her keychain first. She’d need that for the next set of keys they’d give her.

Once they got back, there was a big van outside of their apartment building. She saw the boxes with ‘Soyeon’ on them being carried into the van, together with the ones that had the five other names written on them.

Soojin and Minnie got into the van, while the rest of them gathered in Miyeon’s car. It was fairly expensive car, but the woman would never stress that.  
Their first stop was a storage room, where the ‘Yuqi’ and ‘Minnie’-boxes were placed. The second one was a hotel, than the two disappeared. Soyeon figured she’d see them later tonight, so she didn’t make her goodbye’s too long. Maybe she left a chaste kiss on Yuqi’s cheek, but that was only for her and Yuqi to know.  
Then Miyeon asked if Soyeon wanted to be dropped off at home, so she nodded. Of course she wanted to see her family after months. She heard Miyeon say something about how she’d be happy to come home, and how she felt for Soojin and Shuhua who needed to share the van with the smelly driver for at least two hour more. Soyeon simply chuckled, because she didn’t know what any of it really meant. She saw how Miyeon looked at her worriedly, before dropping her off together with her six boxes. 

Soyeon’s mom answered the door, and then Miyeon drive off after the van that had Shuhua and Soojin in it. And that smelly driver.  
Soyeon’s dad also came to meet her, and then her sister ran down the stairs. How did they all know she was coming? Her sister didn’t even live at home anymore, why was she here now?

When a almost month had passed, Soyeon started wondering why her company hadn’t contacted them. They needed to start practicing for their next album. Maybe they wanted to give them days off until Miyeon’s thirty-third birthday? 

Tired of spending her days alone in the room she grew up in, feeling like she was the only soul left on earth, she decided to call around to her members.

“Yuqi, hi.” Soyeon said, excited to finally be able to hear her Yuqi again.

“Hi Soyeon.” Yuqi answered quickly.

The connection was worse than normal but as long as Soyeon could hear Yuqi’s deep voice, that was enough for her.

“How are you?” Soyeon asked, remembering the bad condition she was in when they left her off at the hotel together with Minnie.

“I’m good.” Yuqi answered. “I’ve been offered a job, actually.”

“Oh?” Soyeon asked.

“Yeah, a new variety show.” Yuqi answered.

“Well, as long as you have time for it, I see no reason to say no.” Soyeon answered, thinking of the group’s best.

“Believe me, I have time.” Yuqi said. “I’ve only been spending time with my parents. I love them, but they can be a little much sometimes.”

“You’re in China?” Soyeon asked, why hadn’t anyone told her they had a real vacation so she could come with Yuqi?

“Yeah? Don’t you remember?” Yuqi asked. “You were with us when we packed?”

Why would she bring all her stuff back to China? She’d only have to ship them back later. For a natural genius, that girl could really be stupid at times.

“When will you be home?” Soyeon asked.

She forgot to listen to Yuqi’s response, but it was probably in a couple of days or weeks anyways, so Soyeon didn’t really need to listen. Still, she wondered why no one had told her they were going back to their respective countries? She remembered Miyeon said she was going home for a visit, but she didn’t know the foreigners were too? They usually stayed at the dorms between comebacks, unless they had an official vacation. Apparently this was one.  
Yuqi’s voice brought her back to their phone-call.

“Are you okay?” Yuqi asked, she’d forgotten to ask before, probably.

“I’m good. Just a little bored.” Soyeon answered. “Hey, I’m gonna call around to everyone else. But I’ll call you again tomorrow, okay?” 

It took Yuqi a moment to reply.

“Okay, Soyeonnie. I miss you.” she said.

“Miss you too, but we’ll meet soon. Everything will be fine, Woogi.” Soyeon said with as much cuteness in her voice that she could.

“Will it?” Yuqi asked.

“Of course. I love you.” Soyeon said.

“Love you too.”

Soyeon hang up with a smile on her lips, before clicking on the next number. It took a while before the call was picked up, but then she heard the silky voice she’d almost forgotten.

“Hey Soyeon.” Minnie said, Soyeon could hear how she was smiling.

“Hey. I heard you’re back in Thailand?” 

“Yup, just for a minute though.” Minnie answered.

“Good.” Soyeon said. “Look, you know the song I showed you before?”

“Yeah?”

“I never got to ask you, but could you add some piano to it?”

“I- Of course. Of course.” Minnie said. “When do you need it done?”

“As quickly as possible, I suppose. They still haven’t called me.” Soyeon said.

“Okay, I’ll help you out.” Minnie said. “I’ll send some stuff in the next couple of days.”

“Thank you, Min.”

“Hey, are you okay now?”

“Right now? Yeah, I’m good. I just talked to Yuqi though, she seems to have it rough. I’ve been too scared to ask her why. Do you know?”

“I don’t know. I thought she was doing fine?”

“I don’t know, maybe it’s just me.”

“Maybe.”

Soyeon brought the phone to her other ear, and managed to see the time as she did so.

“It was nice talking to you, I’ve missed you.” Soyeon said.

“I’ve missed you too.”

“I’ll see you soon.” Soyeon said and hung up before Minnie could answer.

She swiped her fingers through her other contacts, and clicked on her oldest member’s name. She answered within a minute.

“Hello~” she said, making Soyeon smiled the second she heard the high-pitched voice. “How’s it going?”

“I’m bored.” Soyeon complained.

“Yeah? No new songs to work on?” Miyeon asked.

“I don’t know, I want to finish the song first.” Soyeon said.

“Ah, of course.” Miyeon said. “I’m so sorry but I actually need to leave.”

“Already?”

“Yeah, I’ve got a date.” Miyeon said with a laugh.

“A date?” Soyeon smiled widely.

“Uh-huh.”

“What will Minnie say about that?” Soyeon decided to tease her.

“Shut up.” Miyeon complained. “I love you Soyeon, we’ll talk later.”

“Love you too, bye.”

And faster than it started, it was over. She had two people left to call, and she had a hunch they were together.

“Hi Soojin.” Soyeon said once the girl answered. “And Shuhua”.

“Hi.” both girls said at the same time.

“How are you?” she asked.

“We’re good.” Soojin said. 

“Soyeon, Soyeon. Guess what.” Shuhua said and took the phone from Soojin’s hold.

“I don’t know.”

“Guess.”

“Hm~... you’re going to prison?” Soyeon joked.

“Not yet.” Shuhua answered. “Soojin has agreed to come with me to Taiwan.”

“Really? That’s great.” Soyeon said, they deserved a vacation together, one that didn’t include Soojin’s family. “When will you be back?”

“Don’t know”. Shuhua said.

“We’ve started looking for apartments over there.” Soojin added and took back the phone.

“Apartments?” Soyeon asked, why were they looking for apartments in Taiwan when they lived in Korea?

“Yeah. One for ourselves.” Shuhua added.

Soyeon furrowed her eyebrows and had to breathe a couple of seconds so that she didn’t lash out on the rational decision.

“What about the group, then?” she asked, annoyance flowing through her mouth.

“What about it?”

“Well, you can’t be in Taiwan when we’re called to do shows.”

“If they call us we’ll just fly back, but I highly doubt that.” Soojin said.

“And why do you doubt that?”

“What? Our contract has ended, Soyeon.” Soojin said. “Did you forget?”

What? But she was preparing for their comeback? All girls were? Minnie was even helping her with their new song? And they were having a vacation so they could come back better than ever? This didn’t add up. Not at all.

“What do you mean?” Soyeon asked. “What are you talking about, JinJin?”

“Soyeon...” Soojin sighed. “We left Cube a month ago. There’s no more I-dle.”

“Of course there is. You’re not making any sense.”

“We disbanded, Soyeon.” Soojin said with the most careful voice she’d ever used.

“What?”

“We all agreed to it.” Soojin said. “You did too. We packed our boxes, left our keys. We all returned home.”

Soyeon felt her face turn red, as if she was embarrassed. But she wasn’t embarrassed. She didn’t know what she felt, but she did feel the tears rolling down her cheeks. Soojin and Shuhua must’ve heard her sniffling, because both of them stayed quiet until Soyeon decided to talk.

“I’ll have to call you later.” Soyeon said, and hung up the call.

Of course they’d disbanded, how could she have been so stupid? They moved out of the dorms, they had to give the equipment back. Of course they weren’t preparing for a new comeback. That’s why the women reacted like they did when she showed them their song. It wasn’t their song, it was Soyeon’s song. They would never prepare it as a group, because they weren’t a group anymore.

Hitting the wall beside her, Soyeon let her tears fall down to her pillow. Her knuckles were already red and bloody, but she didn’t stop. Red marks were spread across the wall when her mom walked in. She felt the woman wrap her arms around Soyeon, and the daughter put her head on her chest and let her tears spill down on her mom’s body. That’s where she stayed for the next week.

Yuqi called her time and time again, Soojin too. The eight day of her ignoring calls, she decided to call them back.

“Soyeon. Soyeon, are you okay?” Yuqi asked, and paused when she heard the deep breathing on the other line.

“Woogi.” Soyeon said, voice cracking in the middle.

“I’m here.” Yuqi answered.

She called Soojin too, both said sorry for how the last call ended. Both blamed themselves, making the call just some comedy skit for Shuhua to listen to. Soyeon laughed for the first time in over a month.

Apparently, they were all flying back to Korea, or driving back to Seoul, for an interview and a last farewell. Because they had disbanded, they would no longer be a group. It had faced Soyeon like bullet, and the wound was still deep and dripping. Maybe it always would.  
But when they were back next month, Soyeon would make sure to be more okay. The wound would be covered. Her best friends would bring the bandage with them. She knew they would.

_______

March 9th, 2030.

Yuqi was prepared to answer the interviewer’s first question, when Soyeon brought up her own instead.  
It took a short second for the former leader to prepare herself, but then she felt Yuqi’s hand on her back, which gave her the courage to open her mouth.

“It’s a big change.” Soyeon said. “An enormous change. I didn’t know how to deal with it at first, so I think I kinda decided not to. But that only works so long. It’s a big change, but it’ll be okay. We’ll all be okay.”

The interviewer nodded, and the six women shared smiles with each other. Minnie, who sat beside Soyeon, squeezed her shoulder tightly.

“What are you up to now?” was the second question.

“We’re heading to Taiwan.” Shuhua answered on the end of the line, short and concise.

“I’m figuring out what I want for my future, I’ll leave it at that.” Miyeon answered, and blushed as she did so.

“Does it involve love, by any chance?” 

“We’ll see. We’ll see.” Miyeon said.

“How about Minnie?”

“Love? I don’t know about that.” Minnie said, looking down at her hands. “But I’m signing a contract in America.”

“You are? Will we see you in any collaborations in the future?”

“I can’t tell you actually. I’ll leave you with a ‘maybe’.” Minnie smirked into the cameras.

“My turn.” the always exited Chinese shouted.

“Okay. Song Yuqi, go.”

“I’ve started working on a new show. It’s based in China, but will be broadcasted all over the world. I can’t tell you any details, but I’ve been having fun so far, and I’ve been working really hard.” Yuqi said with a smug smile.

“Oooh, that sounds fun. How about the leader? What are your plans for the future?”

Soyeon had been thinking of an answer since Shuhua’s short line, but nothing came to her at all. She was still locked in a mindset she’d tried to get out of. It was like she was looking through a keyhole, only getting a small view of what was behind the door.  
Once again, she breather deeply before bringing up the mic to her mouth.

“I’m still... figuring it out.” Soyeon said.

“Will we see anymore songs from you in the near future?”

“I don’t know.” she answered, making the public gasp.

She tended up, but then she felt her friends calming her. Soojin and Shuhua smiled at her from their end, Miyeon reached for her the best she could, and her former roommates held a tight grip on either side of her. Oh, how she loved her family.

_______

November, 2031.

Soyeon was placed on the only chair in the room. She looked into the mirror, tried to keep her breathing steady. On the TV, she heard the voice of the MC.

“After years and years in a girl group, she is back again with another solo debut.” the MC said, and Soyeon knew it was time to move towards the stage.

She had written a song, one that included no rapping at all. Unusual for the rapper. Instead, it was clear vocals. She’d worked on it for so long that she didn’t remember when she started on it. Maybe it was just that one song, that her members listened to so many months ago. Or maybe it wasn’t.

“We present to you, Jeon Soyeon with ‘I’m living my life through you’!” the MC introduced her before the crowd went wild.

The short girl in a sparkly, blue dress walked up to the stage, and placed herself in front of the lonely microphone. After over a year off stage, it was weird being back. She felt like she’d forgotten how to be an idol.  
But the crowd still sheered for her, still waved their lights. Their Neverlands were still by her side, after all these years.  
And Soyeon knew, that somewhere in the world, wether it was Taiwan, Thailand, China, Korea or some place else, her members were watching her every move from their screens. And that was good enough for Soyeon.

She carefully started on the first note, and already felt a tear leave her eye. How would she be able to hold out through the song? She wouldn’t.

Who would help me through ever day?  
Who would give me the strength I must have?  
Who would comfort me, when I’m the smallest on earth?  
If you didn’t exist,  
what would I be?

No, you have to exist, you must  
I’m living my life through you  
Without you I’m only a prickle on a dark and stormy sea  
You have to exist, you must  
I’m living my life through you  
I would be nothing  
I would be nothing if you didn’t exist

**Author's Note:**

> yeah well i’m sorry but i guess the depressing road is my road. i tried to make it kind of like a blur like it is for soyeon, everything just happens without her knowing why. 
> 
> i hope you cried or at least felt your heart break because then i did a good job.
> 
> also, i may make this a series, i’m not sure yet.


End file.
